just a glimpse

Saturday, September 30, 2006

"the artist lifts the veil" -h. bergson

excerpt from an article i've been looking for since i first read it in grade 10.
maybe i'll comment later.

What is the object of art? Could reality come into direct contact with sense and consciousness, could we enter into immediate communion with things and with ourselves, probably art would be useless, or rather we should all be artists, for then our soul would continually vibrate in perfect accord with nature. Our eyes, aided by memory, would carve out in space and fix in time the most inimitable of pictures. Hewn in the living marble of the human form, fragments of statues, beautiful as the relics of antique statuary, would strike the passing glance. Deep in our souls we should hear the strains of our inner life’s unbroken melody,--a music that is ofttimes gay, but more frequently plaintive and always original. All this is around and within us, and yet no whit of it do we distinctly perceive. Between nature and ourselves, nay, between ourselves and our own consciousness a veil is interposed: a veil that is dense and opaque for the common herd,--thin, almost transparent, for the artist and the poet. What fairy wove that veil? Was it done in malice or in friendliness? We had to live, and life demands that we grasp things in their relations to our own needs.

[...]

In short, we do not see the actual things themselves; in most cases we confine ourselves to reading the labels affixed to them. [...] From time to time, however, in a fit of absentmindedness, nature raises up souls that are more detached from life. Not with that intentional, logical, systematical detachment--the result of reflection and philosophy--but rather with natural detachment, one innate in the structure of sense or consciousness, which at once reveals itself by a virginal manner, so to speak, of seeing, hearing or thinking. Were this detachment complete, did the soul no longer cleave to action by any of its perceptions, it would be the soul of an artist such as the world has never yet seen. It would excel alike in every art at the same time; or rather, it would fuse them all into one. It would perceive all things in their native purity: the forms, colours, sounds of the physical world as well as the subtlest movements of the inner life. But this is asking too much of nature. Even for such of us as she has made artists, it is by accident, and on one side only, that she has lifted the veil. In one direction only has she forgotten to rivet the perception to the need. And since each direction corresponds to what we call a SENSE--through one of his senses, and through that sense alone, is the artist usually wedded to art. Hence, originally, the diversity of arts. Hence also the speciality of predispositions. This one applies himself to colours and forms, and since he loves colour for colour and form for form, since he perceives them for their sake and not for his own, it is the inner life of things that he sees appearing through their forms and colours. Little by little he insinuates it into our own perception, baffled though we may be at the outset. For a few moments at least, he diverts us from the prejudices of form and colour that come between ourselves and reality. And thus he realises the loftiest ambition of art, which here consists in revealing to us nature. Others, again, retire within themselves. Beneath the thousand rudimentary actions which are the outward and visible signs of an emotion, behind the commonplace, conventional expression that both reveals and conceals an individual mental state, it is the emotion, the original mood, to which they attain in its undefiled essence. And then, to induce us to make the same effort ourselves, they contrive to make us see something of what they have seen: by rhythmical arrangement of words, which thus become organised and animated with a life of their own, they tell us--or rather suggest-- things that speech was not calculated to express. Others delve yet deeper still. Beneath these joys and sorrows which can, at a pinch, be translated into language, they grasp something that has nothing in common with language, certain rhythms of life and breath that are closer to man than his inmost feelings, being the living law-- varying with each individual--of his enthusiasm and despair, his hopes and regrets. By setting free and emphasising this music, they force it upon our attention; they compel us, willy-nilly, to fall in with it, like passers-by who join in a dance. And thus they impel us to set in motion, in the depths of our being, some secret chord which was only waiting to thrill. So art, whether it be painting or sculpture, poetry or music, has no other object than to brush aside the utilitarian symbols, the conventional and socially accepted generalities, in short, everything that veils reality from us, in order to bring us face to face with reality itself. It is from a misunderstanding on this point that the dispute between realism and idealism in art has arisen. Art is certainly only a more direct vision of reality. But this purity of perception implies a break with utilitarian convention, an innate and specially localised disinterestedness of sense or consciousness, in short, a certain immateriality of life, which is what has always been called idealism. So that we might say, without in any way playing upon the meaning of the words, that realism is in the work when idealism is in the soul, and that it is only through ideality that we can resume contact with reality.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

satisfied?

i went to fellowship tonight. this girl gave a talk on the holy spirit and living a spirit-filled life. i thought it was quite good. very practical. and she didn't make it seem as complicated or mysterious as some of us christians make matters regarding the holy spirit to be. anyway, i picked up one of her booklets at the end called "satisfied?". it goes through different stages of what it means to live a spirit-filled life...kind of like a tract. it finishes off with an analogy i thought was pretty cool:

Do Not Depend on Feelings

To be transported by an airplane, we must place our faith in the trustworthiness of the aircraft and the pilot who flies it. Our feelings of confidence or fear do not affect the ability of the airplane to transport us, though they do affect how much we enjoy the trip. In the same way, we as Christians do not depend on feelings or emotions, but we place our faith in the trustworthiness of God and the promises of His Word.

i love flying. i always have. i pray that i can love trusting in Him to bring me wherever just as much.


"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." -Eph 3:16-17

Saturday, September 23, 2006

2 chronicles 15

God is very good.
i needed a reminder.
i needed to taste and see and know.

once again, i'm making the attempt to start my day off with God. i'm really not a morning person. i slept pretty late yesterday night. but then i woke up early, on a saturday morning, because i couldn't go back to sleep. i felt really hungry...had that feeling in the pit of my stomach. so i had to get up. but then i had remembered one thing i had written down in my action plan yesterday when we had our spiritual check-up at salt. i wanted to start my day off with God. at the end of the day, before bed, just isn't going to cut it. i've been going through some struggles lately. one day i just fell apart. not so much because of the situations, but because God wasn't there. i was too busy being distracted by other things. so this morning i actually spent time with God. before doing anything else. i actually did it.

for the last while i have been going through 2 chronicles. i've been trying to get through it for a while now. it's just one of those books i've never really read. they say it's a difficult book to read, especially during devotions. it's really just history. good kings, bad kings, battles, temple talk...and it's repetitive. so for a while it was really hard to be consistent. so i prayed before i read, and was just like...ok, y'kno God, this book is tough. it's kinda boring. but when it comes down to it, they're still your words. and from what i know, "the word of God is living and active". please let me see how it can be living and active in my life today.

so i read.

the chapter starts with the prophet azariah giving a prophecy to king asa. he says:

"Listen to me, Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The LORD is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. For a long time Israel was without the true God, without a priest to teach and without the law. But in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them. In those days it was not safe to travel about, for all the inhabitants of the lands were in great turmoil. One nation was being crushed by another and one city by another, because God was troubling them with every kind of distress. But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." (vs 2-7)

if you seek, you will find.
and really, i had not been seeking.
want God to be with you? then be with him.
wasn't really doing that either.

but no matter how long israel was without God, they just had to seek after God, and he was found. sometimes, it's really hard to see God in certain circumstances. you can say all the christian cliche things to yourself and to others, but it's not really taken to heart. it's not living and active. but really look hard. really seek. be strong and don't give up. he will be found.

the passage continues to say how asa "took courage" (v8) and got rid of all the false idols from his land and the ones he captured. people from other tribes came and settled where he was "when they saw that the Lord his God was with him" (v9). as the king, he gathered all the people and they all "entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul...All Judah rejoiced about the oath because they had sworn it wholeheartedly. They sought God eagerly, and he was found by them. So the Lord gave them rest on every side." (v12, 15)

rest. how beautiful is that? our God is a God of peace. of rest. seek after him, and he'll give you rest. physically, emotionally, mentally. he'll give you peace. peace about yesterday, today, and tomorrow. just seek. you'll find.

it concludes saying that "Asa's heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life" (v17).

seek, find, and rest.
God is very good indeed.

Playground fun 1

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the attitudes of the heart." -Heb 4:12

Friday, September 22, 2006

strength

that's what i need more of.

Isaiah 40 ...so long, but so good..

Comfort for God's People
1 Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.

2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.

3 A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD ;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

4 Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.

5 And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

6 A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

7 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.

8 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."

9 You who bring good tidings to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem,
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
"Here is your God!"

10 See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.

11 He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

13 Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

14 Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

15 Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

16 Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.

17 Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

18 To whom, then, will you compare God?
What image will you compare him to?

19 As for an idol, a craftsman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.

20 A man too poor to present such an offering
selects wood that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not topple.

21 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

23 He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

24 No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.


snowy spring
"Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD."
-Ps 27:14

faith

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"

He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. -Luke 17:5-6

i don't need more faith. i just need some.

i'm tired.
tired of waiting.
tired of making plans.
tired of hoping.
tired of hearing advice and God-talk.
tired of trying to laugh it off.
tired of excusing people who don't get it.
tired of feeling guilty.
tired of having to be strong.
tired of crying.

just tired.

i'm trying to hang on.
i can be short-sighted, i know.
but it's really hard.
being supportive is hard. waiting is hard.
waiting for so long is really hard.

sometimes i just get tired.
really tired.

Like a Mustard Seed
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
and certain of what we do not see." -Heb. 11:1

Thursday, September 21, 2006

crazy

thoroughly impressed with this video.
wow.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

summer 2006

a little overdue, but yeah...this summer went by pretty fast i guess...as all summers seem to have their way of slipping by. it was a difficult summer for me, but i had some great times too. successfully finished 5 courses in summer school, built new relationships, strengthened old ones, dealt with some hard ones along the way. generally lots of learning, fellowshiping, and fun. i rarely do photo updates, but here are some highlights of the last few months:


5.29-6.5: philadephia
> getting Syd settled in...the beginning of my summer.


5. 27-8.19: lighting it up, all summer long


> miss "i don't drink coffee or any coffee products" started having ice caps this summer...they're quite yummy :) but i still don't drink coffee.


7.3: casaloma
> back for my birthday...that's nice :)


7.3: alice fazooli's
> nice, but very expensive birthday dinner with my buddies (hey, who's taking this picture? haha)


7.10: dinner at marlowe
> not quite 7.11, but i'm glad you were still here. that dvd rocked my socks off :)


7.28-30: summer retreat, redeemer college
> good times, alpha and omega. stir it up.


8.24: (see aug 28 entry)

http://i9.tinypic.com/4hnaoe8.jpg
8.25: charity ball, le parc
> ok, i dig the polka dots :P


8.31: ccsa softball banquet, hilton suites
> once again, very proud of you guys :)


9.2: year end celebration
> thank you guys for your fellowship...till next season!

* * *


> man, we spent a lot of time together this summer didn't we...never without good food tho! :) you guys know how fantastic you are. so proud of this team we have here. keep shining :)


> you guys are like family. love you guys like crazy! go 84's!


> you were the best part of my summer. i'm so thankful you were back. so blessed by our friendship, sistah! :)

* * *

all the best to everyone this coming school year. stay strong...
jomama. out.

(oh and thanks to people who take pictures at different events...cuz i certainly didn't take these. wait, ok...i took one -the one of bobby's head.)

always missing you, silly

Friday, September 01, 2006

"a good night's rest"

“A Good Night’s Rest”

Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries


Key Verse:

Proverbs 3:24, “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (NIV)


Devotion:

Do you have a hard time getting a good night’s sleep? Some call it insomnia, but I call it Satan. I’m always amazed at how often our enemy, the devil, invades the crevices of my thought life when I lay my head down to rest each night – particularly if I’ve had a difficult or simply busy day. There have been numerous times where I lie awake at night, too consumed by my anxious thoughts for my desperate soul and body to have a good night’s sleep. Good and bad thoughts of my children, the fight I had with my husband that morning, my endless to-do list for the next day, or worry over a sick friend or family member replay themselves over and over in my mind.


Though God designed us to need sleep, we often lose it worrying. We worry about the things we need to get done, the future, or the angry words we spoke to someone. All this worry can rob us of precious physical rest. It may not take a genius to figure out how we got ourselves into that sleepless state, but it sometimes feels like it will take a genius to get us out of it, particularly if our circumstances aren’t changing. So how do we find the spiritual, mental, and emotional rest our bodies long for? May I encourage you to make your sleep a matter of prayer?


Why lie awake consumed with worries when you can pray? We find rest by coming to Jesus. How do we come to Him? By prayer and petition, as Philippians 4:6-7 says, presenting our requests to God. When you ask Jesus to take away your burdens, be specific about naming the things that are weighing on you. Make it a practice to come before Him and offer to make a trade – the heavy bundle you’re carrying for His much lighter load, as Matthew 11:28-30 suggests. Then, claim the rest He offers today.


Jesus longs to give us sleep that is sweet. When we lie down at night, we are to have a sense of comfort and assurance that He can handle the circumstances of each and every day. We don’t have to be afraid because God is more than able to take us off the wheel we are frantically running on and grant rest for our souls—spiritual rest.


Spiritual rest is a rest and peace that we cannot understand. In fact, it is so supernatural that it works! When we come to Jesus, emptying ourselves and declaring our weaknesses regarding our ability to fix whatever problem we are facing, the power of the Holy Spirit can overwhelm our souls and bring an unexplainable peace that works like nothing else will.


Spiritual rest is unique because it renews us in a way that physical rest never can. It provides emotional strength deep within. When your soul is at rest, panic within the heart simmers down and physical limitations become less overwhelming. Jesus promises that His yoke is light and easy to bear. Doesn’t that sound like the relief you long for?


When we search for rest in the Lord, the unanswered questions of life can find contentment in the Sovereignty of God. This allows us to be okay with putting aside our weapons in fighting battles with those we love that have grown distant from us. As I said earlier, Satan desires to rob us of our rest and keep us in a frantic state. He wants us to believe that rest is not possible. He wants us to worry and lose sleep. By doing all these things, he can make us ineffective as wives, mothers and servants of God. In this life, we will always have worries— it is what we do in response to those worries that makes all the difference.


Reflection Points:

Take a few moments and step outside of yourself to assess your perspective right now. Has sleepless nights of worry allowed Satan to get a foothold on your thought life? Has it paralyzed your everyday life, making you ineffective as a wife, mother, friend, or mentor? If so, through prayer, reclaim those areas for Jesus to rule over and tell Satan to get behind you!


Power Verses:

John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (NIV)


Psalm 4:6, 8, “Many are asking, ‘Who can show us any good?’ Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (NIV)


Deuteronomy 33:12, “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.” (NIV)


Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV)